


sober

by tabismew



Series: yours alternatively one shots, mewgulf [3]
Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based on a Selena Gomez Song, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabismew/pseuds/tabismew
Summary: Mew only loves Gulf when he's sober. That's what Gulf thinks.Based on Selena Gomez's song, Sober.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Series: yours alternatively one shots, mewgulf [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935901
Comments: 17
Kudos: 132





	sober

_**You don't know how to love me when you're sober** _

_**When the bottle's done you pull me closer** _

_**And you're saying all the things that you're supposed to** _  
  


Gulf shuffled to his feet, scurrying down the hallway then down stairs of his apartment when he heard a loud knock against his front door. 

His eyebrows furrowed together in the middle of his forehead, he was completely confused because obviously he wasn’t expecting anyone at this unbelievable hour and for the love of God, who would knock at the someone's front door in this rainy evening where people were all inside their respective homes? 

And the timing was really terrible, he stayed up all night just to finish some papers works he brought home from the office and this was the only time he had gotten a chance to sleep properly.

It's already two in the morning and as much as didn’t want to get up and just ignore the loud knock and the door bell ringing, it was so hard when the person outside didn't have any plan to stop soon. 

Gulf reached the door and didn’t even bother to look at the peep hole – and opened it slowly, the cold air hitting his skin making him shiver as shaky breathe escaped his lips. 

His eyes landed on the person in his doorway. He was a bit caught off guard to say the least - It's _him_ again. 

This was like hundred times it happened. 

Gulf got used to this, him showing up in the middle of the night.

Although, He perfectly knew why he's here, He still asked, “Mew, What are you doing here?” 

Mew's eyes were glued at him, he didn’t answer his questions instead he just smiled at Gulf first. It took him a while to respond. “Can I come in first?” He spoke with his rough voice and words were actually a bit slurred. 

And by the time he spoke those words, Gulf knew what was going on. Mew was drunk off of his ass once again.

Gulf closed his eyes as he took a deep breathe, “Mew, I don’t _think-“_

Mew cut him off – Gulf didn’t even finish his sentence.

“Can I come in, Gulf?” Mew asked him again, this time his voice was too soft. Mew just perfectly knew he'd get Gulf with this tone and words, He knew Gulf would just fall for it all over again.

And Gulf knew he was an idiot.

But this time, he tried to fight and controlled his feelings back, “I think you should call Tul to come and pick you up. You're drunk.” Gulf exclaimed, looking directly at his eyes, He's had enough of Mew's bullshits, “You really should stop doing this.” 

Mew looked at him confused, a chuckled followed, “Doing what?” 

Gulf let out a helpless laugh, “This,” he said, pointing at himself and at Mew making ambiguous gestures between them, he couldn’t form it clearly with words.

“I don't understand. What do you mean by _this_?” Mew asked, confusion written on his face again. At the back of Gulf's head, and a little part of him, think that Mew knew it and he was just fucking with Gulf again.

He didn't much have of a choice but to explain again, “You have this habit of coming at my house when you’re completely drunk then sleep at my bed and then leave even before the sun sets. Stop doing this to me, Mew, please.” He said, sounding so helpless. 

Gulf actually pitied himself at this point, He just knew that when Mew begs again, He would let him in. He knew how weak he was for this man in front of him. 

Sometimes, He just wanted to move to another country and leave everything behind but there’s still a little hope that Mew would change for the better. 

He would always pray for it but it never came and it pains him everyday.

“I don’t understand.” Mew slurred once again, he’s looking at Gulf. 

Gulf sighed, “Leave now before I shut this door.” He muttered, putting his hand on the handle, “Call Tul to pick you up.” He added as he was about to close the door, a strong force came to stop him.

“Mew!” Gulf shouted, “I said leave!”   
  
Mew didn’t even move a single muscle. He just kept his hand on the door handle, “You’re going to let me die here outside? It’s raining and I'm going to freeze to death.” He said and his breathe really smelled of alcohol, “This will be the last time. I promise.” 

Gulf wanted to scoff, Mew had told him many times about that but it didn’t happen. He would always find Mew in front of his doorway whenever he's drunk. 

He's so bad at keeping his promises.

Gulf just stared back at Mew for awhile – knowing the latter – He wouldn’t just give up and Gulf was so tired to even fight back so he let Mew in, _again_. 

He cursed himself for letting this to happen over and over again, He already told himself million times that he won’t let this man fooled him again but his dumbass self would just give in easily.

The love he has for him was too strong to resist.

Gulf closed the door then he walked away from Mew, going up to his room and heard Mew's heavy footsteps following him behind. When he reached the bedroom, Gulf shut the door then climbed on his bed, cuddling with the warn sheets.

He heard the door being open and then shut again. Mew stood at the doorway watching Gulf as he glanced at every inch of his face – admiring his features, as if Gulf was the most precious person he’d ever laid his eyes on.

Gulf just watched as Mew climbed into his bed as if it was his own pulling Gulf close to him and Gulf's head was already resting on his firmed and toned chest. 

He could hear Mew's heart beats and again Gulf felt at home as if he was at his safest place, he could feel the security in the older man's embrace and there was a genuine smile creeped onto Mew's lips.

Gulf thought, He was really the dumbest of the dumbs. How could he let this man do this every time? How could he let Mew hold him like this as if everything was in utopia? As if everything between them was clear and fine? 

How could they pretend that this thing, whatever this was, was okay? 

But if he is going to be honest with himself, He preferred when Mew was drunk because that’s the only way he could feel his love and sincerity towards him. If someone asked what's the status of their relationship, Gulf had no specific answer for that actually. 

They have been in an on and off relationship and the last time he checked Mew was the one who dumped him – broke things off with him last three months ago so he actually had no reasons to come back here but then he always does and to the extent that it just became his bad habit.  
  
Every time he's drunk, he would come at Gulf's place and Gulf being a fool, accepts him easily. Sometimes, they would sleep with each other and the never ending no string attached relationship went on.

And sure, for Mew, this was probably just sex with benefits thing _but_ for Gulf, it wasn’t just like that. He still loves Mew with all of his heart could offer and he didn't think he would get over him anytime soon. 

Just how could he move on that easily when every time Mew's not sober, he would come to Gulf and tells him he misses him. He would utter words that could get Gulf to fall for him again. 

“You’re gorgeous.” Mew's drunken voice spoke, a goofy smile on his face as he looked down at Gulf fondly as the latter looks up at him, “How could you be this gorgeous?” Here he was again, his romantic self was finally making an appearance and Gulf just wished that his words were genuine just like his feelings for Mew.

“You don’t mean that.” Gulf said bitterly, still, insecurities eating him alive.   
  
Mew just kisses his forehead, “I mean it. You know, I do.”   
  
Mew was just really good with words, He knew how to get Gulf even though he's drunk. Gulf didn’t know why he was like this, whenever he’s not sober, he would just sweet talk Gulf.

He remembered when Mew broke things off with him, Gulf asked what was wrong, or what went wrong – the only answer he got was, “I’m too complicated. You deserved so much better. I can’t go on being with you like this when all I do was to hurt you, okay? But I love you. I really do. I will always love you.” 

Gulf huffed, What kind of logic is that? He loved Gulf but he broke things off? What kind of love was that? 

“I wish you meant every word you told me when you were drunk.” Gulf said, smiling just a bit, still staring at Mew.

The older man smiled back, “I meant every word I say. You’re the person I want to protect the most. I've never met someone so beautiful inside and out like you. I love you. I know I hurt you many times but I was sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings in whatever ways.” Mew continues as if without Gulf he’d be in the darkness trying to find a non existent escape. “I don’t know what I did to deserved you. You deserve better, way better than an asshole like me but you still stay with me. I love you so much, okay? No matter what I say, I'll always love you.” Mew finished, caressing Gulf's cheeks.

Gulf felt that every little bits of him, he would surrender them to Mew – but he felt his heart ached because the reality, even though Mew loved him, he would still leave him tomorrow, even before the sun sets. 

Mew didn’t give him an exact reason why he was doing this. And Gulf wanted answers so bad.  
  
“You love me?” Gulf asked. He didn’t know if he should believe Mew or not, It’s just so hard to trust him these days.

Mew nodded his head. “I love you.”

Gulf couldn’t help himself and finally let some tears fall from his eyes, the feelings were overwhelming, he didn’t know where to place them. 

Those three words were so calming yet so hurtful.

“Why are you crying?” Mew immediately asked as he held Gulf so close to him as much as he could.  
  
“If you love me then why did you ended things between us? You were the one who broke up with me.” Saying these words hurt him a lot, and as much as possible he tries to avoid the word _end_.   
  
Mew's face changed into an indifferent one, “I’m just too complicated to deal with.”   
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I'm just too complicated, Gulf. Really, really complicated.”  
  
“I don’t understand,” Gulf said, shaking his head, “You’ve been saying this from the very start. Enlighten me.” 

“Do you still love me?” Mew asked instead of answering his questions.  
  
Gulf nodded his head, “I wouldn’t have you here if I don't love you. I wouldn’t have let you in if I don’t.”

 _I wish I didn’t though_ , He thought to himself. But its just too late to not love him now.

“I’m sorry for ignoring your calls and messages. I'm sorry always getting drunk.” Mew said, “I’m sorry for everything.” 

This wasn’t new, anyway. It was a routine Gulf learned to live everyday.

“I’ll be a good boyfriend from now on.” 

Gulf froze at his spot, He perfectly knew Mew was drunk off his ass and he didn’t meant that. It’s the alcohol that’s taking him. But then he remembered what Mild had told him and keep replaying on his head. 

_Drunken words are sober thoughts, Gulf._

“I took Tul's advices yesterday when I went with him to buy his new car and I told him I will win you back.” Mew muttered, so he thought about it when he wasn’t drunk, he was sober. He knew what he was saying and doing.  
  
“Boyfriend?” Gulf breathed out.

Mew nodded his head, “Yeah, will you let me?” 

_Fuck_. Gulf wasn’t sure because the last time he had him as his boyfriend, it didn’t really go well but he's desperate for his love – he’s been waiting for Mew to come and win him back again.

What people say is really true, you just become dumb when you’re in love.

“Yeah, Mew. Definitely.” He uttered, He's going to give him a chance again. He’s going to bet his heart on this again. “Just don’t forget about this tomorrow. You’re going to tell me you love me again when you’re sober.” 

Mew laughed at him, “Why would I forget it? I'm not drunk.”

Gulf set aside his own worries for now, “You are a bit drunk. Just please don’t forget about this when you wake up.” 

“I won't, okay? Stop with your worries, babe.” Mew said, as he leaned down to give Gulf kisses – softly taking his time exploring his mouth, hands finding their way to Gulf's shoulders. When he pulled away, he gave him a peck again, “You’re so cute.” He muttered, giving Gulf a kiss on the nose.

Gulf smiled, he really preferred a drunk Mew over a sober Mew, sometimes.

“Let’s go to sleep now.” 

“Can we stay a bit longer? I still want to talk to you.” Gulf asks, all of his worries coming back again, “Can we?”   
  
“I’m a bit tired, baby. Besides, We can talk later. You need to rest too, the dark circles under your eyes are so visible.” He said, sounding so genuinely concern, “We have the whole day tomorrow, yeah?” 

Gulf's actually wasn’t so sure about that.  
  
“Okay.” That’s all he can say, “Don’t forget this later.” He whispered.  
  
“I won't.”  
  
“I'll cling onto that.”  
  
“And, Gulf?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“I love you."  
  
“I love you, too.”

* * *

  
The first thing Gulf registered when he woke up was the intensely bright ray of sunlight beaming directly into his eyes from his window after he frowned and turned his body on the left side of the bed as he felt nothing but the emptiness next to him. 

The same feeling he wakes up to everyday.

And seconds later, he heard a shuffling from the bathroom before the door opened – Mew walked out already dressed with his clothes from earlier. Gulf now noticed that he was perfectly fine, seamlessly _sober_ , he might add. 

He wanted to say something to him but no matter how much he tried to open his mouth, he couldn’t do it. He just stayed silent, praying that Mew will remember everything he said to Gulf.

He sat up slowly pressing his back against the headboard then set his eyes to the man in front of him. There were thousand of words he needed to say, hundred of questions he wanted to ask but his own self wouldn't let him say anything. 

Gulf was so afraid of getting an answer from Mew, he was terrified he'll never get the words he wanted to hear from him when he’s like this. 

The atmosphere inside the room was awkward and the silence was deafeaning – until he heard Mew cleared his throat.   
  
“I have to go.” Mew muttered, voice blank and he’s looking at Gulf, expressionless. “I don’t know exactly why I went here again so I'm sorry for bothering you. I was probably too drunk off my ass to go home and the party was just few blocks away from this place.” 

And for the nth time, Gulf felt like his world shuttering right in front of him. The words were fucking bullets and hit him directly on his heart. 

Those words fucking hurt, big time.  
  
_No Gulf, Don’t say anything. Don’t even ask him_. He repeatedly told himself in his head, He shouldn’t ask because he knows it’ll just hurt him even more but he wanted to hear his reasons, he's just becoming a masochist at this point. “You don’t remember anything?” 

The question alone made Mew wandered his eyes around the room and as if he was thinking about something, then he shook his head, “Remember, what?” 

_Fuck you._

_I'm so fucking tired loving you._

Gulf stayed silent, He couldn’t bare himself to say anything. His lips trembling and he just wanted to cry his tears our but he promised to himself that he wouldn’t cry in front of Mew, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t give Mew the satisfaction. 

He's just going to save the tears later. “You don't remember, then.” 

“Look, Gulf. I don’t know what happened yesterday. Did – I mean, Did we sleep together again?”   
  
The only thing Gulf could do was to shake his head.

“That’s good. Yeah, that’s good.” Mew said, “You know that I don't remember a single thing or even don’t know what I was doing when I’m drunk, right?” 

Gulf nodded his head. He fucking knew, he fucking knew that. But his dumb self denied the truth when Mew was uttering sweet words to him.  
  
“If I said something ridiculous last night, I'm sorry for that. I shouldn’t have gotten drunk so much.” Mew sighed.

Gulf shook his head in disbelief. “Ridiculous.” He chuckles, “Right. Ridiculous.”  
  
“I won’t let this happen again, Gulf. I'm sorry.” 

No matter how much Gulf denied it, He still would still want Mew show up in an unbelievable hour at his front door then climb in the bed with Gulf because that’s the only way he could actually be with him. No matter how much it pains him, He wouldn’t complain - He'll take whatever Mew can give. 

“It’s fine.” Gulf said, but just because he days it's not fine, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t hurting.

Mew moved off of his feet and went to the night stand, grabbing his phone and checks the time then he speaks again, “Thank you for letting me stay the night.” He said for the last time then walked to reach the door, He held the door knob for second, then, he looked back at Gulf again. “This will be the last time.” 

After he said that, Mew made his exit shutting the door leaving Gulf alone in his room.

Gulf couldn’t do anything – He just stared at the door for a good minute then he felt his tears finally falling from his eyes.

It hurts loving Mew. It hurts so much.   


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Stay safe & healthy everyone! 
> 
> Keep Mewgulfing ❣💛 
> 
> If you wanna send me prompts, just dm on twitter (@tabismew) 
> 
> Have a nice day.


End file.
